Crap, maybe I am a Twilight idiot after all

Today, possibly one of the most embarrassing things ever happened to me. Believe me, this is saying a lot – I’m the sort of person who gets embarrassed by a LOT of things (although, possibly not the right things), and I think over conversations for hours analysing what I should have said, and how I made mistakes etc. I thought I was actually getting better at it. Until today. Today, I did something I thought only happened in the likes of books like Twilight (yeah, there will be a few inevitable Twilight references through this post, you’ll see why). Today I embarrassed myself beyond belief. And the worst thing was, I couldn’t do anything to stop myself.

Firstly I should explain that I go to an all-girls school, which is situated directly next to the corresponding boys’ school, so naturally we know, or at least know of a lot of the boys. In the year I’m in, in addition to our regular lessons, we have a General Studies course comprising of 6 things, 3 of which are compulsory, girls-only lessons, and 3 where we, to an extent, choose what we do, which we also do with the boys. Today was a switch-over day for courses, and so I duly went over to the boys’ school for my first Jive lesson (and no, I’m pretty sure I did NOT put down any dance options for my first choice). Today there were two other girls who I didn’t really know, two boys whom I had never met or heard of in my life, and one last guy who I knew of, and met a few times about five years ago.

This guy almost certainly didn’t remember me, and I only vaguely remembered what he looked like – obviously looks change quite considerably between the ages of 12 and 17. However, I wasn’t expecting to come face-to-face with the spitting image of Robert Pattinson (yeah, the Twilight guy, in case you hadn’t noticed from the picture. Don’t think Cedric Diggory, he was ugly then). And I don’t care if you love or hate Twilight, you cannot deny that RPattz is HOT. At least, not in front of me.

So there I was, in a class of six, with this really good looking guy. And, like any normal person, I sat there and admired him (at a distance) for the first 20 minutes of the lesson. When we started dancing, I was paired with someone else, so, confident that I wouldn’t have to dance with him this lesson, I continued admiring him.

Well, we ended up switching partners. And so there I was, about a foot from this GORGEOUS guy (and I’m really starting to sound like I’m reading Twilight aloud), expecting that, as usual, I’d simply push the thoughts to the back of my head and get on with it, or at least that I’d manage to act normally whilst continuing to surreptitiously gaze at him. And this is where it gets embarrassing. I was completely unable to do anything of the kind. Every single time I looked him in the eye, I blushed because he was so frigging HOT, and so I had to look down – which made me even more embarrassed because, you know, staring at your feet while you’re dancing something so incredibly simple IS REALLY EMBARRASSING. And so after a few seconds, I felt I HAD to look at him, and the whole process started again.

I think I managed to say a few coherent sentences to him, before mentally collapsing into giggles, blushing, and looking down again. And for those of you who have seen What Women Want, I had a few “Shit, I looked at his crotch” *look up, blush, look down* “shit, I did it again” moments, too.

I KNOW. THIS IS PATHETIC. Since when am I even interested in guys, let alone their looks? Since when do I do this over people I know? Since when do I even do this anyway?

Maybe it’s a whole Robert Pattinson thing. Maybe Catherine Hardwicke was dazzled by him, so she cast him as Edward.

Please tell me you’ve done the same thing, so I stop feeling like a complete and utter idiot. Or fangirl. Maybe when Twilight’s involved it’s the same thing.

Tags: embarrassing, hot guys, Robert Pattinson, story, Twilight